u said a phone call away,
i believed.
phone went dead
even when tipsy i tried to memorise.
2 numbers i rmb,
both failed last night.
i think i shld start getting more numbers stuck in my brain.
then agn, so few i can rely on.
all i cld do was thinking abt u n ur number to keep myself awake.

killing their own species,
turn off fo!
becoming too disgusting to look at.

n it's e realities in life tt makes one more cautious n defensive
yy here @ 11:13 AM

now n then it disconnects like e untrusty network in nlb.
yy here @ 10:56 PM

modernism stated that "one best" does not exist but it is possible to achieve "the most appropriate". symbolic-interpretivism suggested that looking at the process of interaction is important. n damn postmodernism opposes modernism.

one best or most appropriate?
contradictions.

thank god there's still the neutral symbolic-interpretivism.

3 perspectives of sociology,
too confusing n complex.
it kills life for many reasons,
particularly,
my face got stuck to books n laptop for so many days.

maybe i should hand this up to settle the 1800 words essay.

when i lose faith in myself,
dun lose faith in me.
yy here @ 10:36 PM

stress - binging on food - fat - stress,
vry vicious cycle.
wana concentrate so badly,
but kept falling asleep.
3600 words,
so little yet so much,
n tts bad cuz CONCISE is e word,
mountains of research is e key.

got a new iphone,
spoilt bitch.
e fear of losing it is so great tt i dun wish to bring it out.

tt silly sickly kiddo,
vry different.
yy here @ 11:06 PM

n everything tt i'm addicted to seems unreachable because of 3600 words.
vomit them out n i'll b freed.
till then,



smile :)

insomnia is less painful now
yy here @ 8:29 PM

was wondering what's with parents n their mouth.
how difficult is it to praise their child?
easier to put them down than praise?
perhaps it's ego.
if it wasn't for that short passing remark,
i wld perhaps went to JC,
studying at local uni.
matching ego w ego,
hurt just amount.

n when i c her going thru it,
heartache.
i'll nv drift away agn.

yy here @ 10:23 AM

school is rly crazy.
assignments coming in,
i rly shld get started,
but y e inertia.
at this rate,
goodbye happy cny.

one's true colours,
ur tail has shown,
bye.
yy here @ 11:02 PM

was having dinner w bro n dad.
for a moment,
i felt so depressed.
e usual confident me shrank 10X smaller
n i feel so inferior sitting next to my bro.
i lost my phone,
i cldnt make it to local uni.

shook it off as usual,
thinking i've tried my best.
all these years i did not depend on family as much as most kids in SG.
i know i cld hv done better,
but in life, there's no room for regrets.

it hit me harder when i realised that in a mth's time,
he'll b gone.
n my life gona b emptier than empty.

on a lighter note

c that little thing there?
i hope it's a male cuz i already tot of a name :)

e tot of potential hurt is scary.
but agn, i shldn't b tt pessimistic.
shall c how things go then.

e night when i made e choice,
i hope it was e right one.
yy here @ 9:20 PM

sat night,
ppl hving fun out there :)

unusually weird to find her at home,
lying on her bed staring at e 4 walls (mayb more) of her empty house.
a call came.
"ph?",
jumped w excitement she found e reason to go,
though held back 10%,
remembering she'd made a promise.
2nd call came.
her excitement doubled,
promise forgotten,
got dressed, make up n all.
n 3rd call came.
bathed, brushed teeth, back to her bed staring at e 4 walls / journal article.

i feel weird today
yy here @ 11:18 PM

feeling much better alrdy.
glad for e ppl who stood by,
those who rly cared.

it's not just a phone.
i promised my dad i'd guard it w my life.
for e 6th time,
he trusted,
i betrayed.
n i've been reproaching myself.

but true, i can earn e trust back,
just like i can earn back an iphone.
i'm not gng to make any promises anymore,
they r plain cheap words.
like nike said "just do it".
i hope i rly can,
degree w merit.

as usual,
tough times meet true friendships.
i lost my iphone i gained greater insights.
i saw, i felt, i know n i truely appreciate it.
thank you.

e ppl i'll keep close by, for life
yy here @ 7:07 PM

life sucks cuz i screwed it.
sorry tt i'm a disappointment.

i know what i shld do,
it's not difficult.
yy here @ 11:27 PM

n evrytime i close my eyes,
those scenes replay in my head.
intense fear,
shrinking confidence.
yy here @ 4:20 AM

3/1/2010		12:56:29 PM		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		ll Steph-yy ll™		I win toto i help u help your friend. I dont buy tickets to watch liverpool play live.
3/1/2010		12:56:52 PM		ll Steph-yy ll™		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		awwwwwwww
3/1/2010		12:56:58 PM		ll Steph-yy ll™		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		sisterrrr so sweeeetttt
3/1/2010		12:57:13 PM		ll Steph-yy ll™		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		LOL!!!!
3/1/2010		12:57:55 PM		ll Steph-yy ll™		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		but do u buy toto?
3/1/2010		1:01:22 PM		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		ll Steph-yy ll™		No actually. Haha. Start buying nw lor
3/1/2010		1:01:48 PM		ll Steph-yy ll™		I fell in love with the girl at the rock show		LOL *faint

ha n even though words r cheap,
this is priceless cuz it made me LOL.
yy here @ 1:47 PM

this gona b a cliche new yr post.

first, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all.

2009 is finally gone,
n all e bad memories will b forgotten, vry soon.
it's one yr tt sucked real bad,
but at least i learnt, ALOT.
guess it's goodbye to tt group of ppl,
cuz i dun need a complicated n dramatic life.
2 yrs, too late to say regret.

i'm thankful for e ppl who helped.
tough road is made easier with good friends ard.

n it's 090909, i've found true friendship.
someone who i know i can count on 24/7,
n i pray tt this cld last forever.
good friends r rly hard to come by n i'm glad for e few tt i've found in my life.

been sick these few days.
was out w grandma n aunts for lunch.
feel real touched by their simple gesture of concern.
i know of ppl whose relatives r damn selfish n obnoxious.
grateful tt mine r always there for my bro n i.

n i realised,
my life is vry complete.
guess i shldn't b greedy.

n these r some stuff i've been up to lately.
(mostly clubbing so no point talking)

cooking at my place :)


yy here @ 11:01 PM